The Blessings of Choosing a Large Family: Embracing the Abundance

Today’s post is a special one to me. Having a large family was something I wanted from the time I was really little, and getting to live out that dream now has been one of the biggest blessings I’ve ever experienced. If you’re considering having a large family, or you have a large one and need some encouragement through challenges, this post is for you! The blessings of choosing a large family are endless, and I hope today reminds you of how incredible it can be!

As a mom of 6, my hands are full, but so is my heart. Having a large family isn’t for everyone, and I completely understand that, but if you’ve felt called to have a larger family than the national average of 2, you are my people! It’s wild, it’s loud, but it’s also incredibly fulfilling.

I plan to share the good, the bad, the why, and more in today’s post. Here are some of the topics I plan to share:

The blessings of choosing a large family

Why we’ve chosen a large family

The challenges we’ve faced and how we overcome them

Creating a harmonious household

The future of our large family

If you’re new to my blog, welcome! I am so glad you are here. As I mentioned previously, I am a mom of 6, married to my best friend, and I share encouragement for other moms, non-toxic swaps, and budget-friendly meals for large families.

Here are some of my recent posts:

Encouragement for Overwhelmed Moms

7 Young Living Products Worth the Hype

The Easiest Homemade Pasta Recipe Ever!

Let’s dive right in!

The blessings of choosing a large family

Growing up in a large family ensured I was never alone. (Even when I wanted to be!) I have 8 siblings. The age gap between my siblings is as large as 5 years and as small as 14 months, and my oldest brother is 28 years older than my youngest sister. He had moved out and started his family before my mom had her last baby. It seems unconventional to some, but when it’s all you know, it’s just the norm.

While sometimes it can be overwhelming, having multiple siblings has been so great. Now that I’m older and have my own children, my siblings and I are still close and get to raise our children together.

The unique relationships that develop among siblings are always interesting to watch. As a parent, it’s become clear which children get along better and which siblings enjoy the company of others. Like most children, sometimes my kids argue, but overall, my kids enjoy each other’s company, and that’s been exciting to watch. My oldest son is now 14, and as much as he acts annoyed by his younger siblings, he looks forward to scooping up his 14-month-old brother and snuggling him in the morning.

They also have shared experiences throughout their childhood that they look back on and share. Even when they don’t see eye-to-eye on how something played out, they love reminiscing together, highlighting their bond with each other. On the flip side, it can be difficult to listen to experiences they remember that haven’t been pleasant. When Lucas was diagnosed with leukemia, I had to split my time much more than I ever would’ve chosen to. I missed out on many experiences with them when I was with Lucas for appointments of overnights at the hospital. They have memories of situations I never witnessed because Lucas needed me. It’s hard to think about. Even when my husband and I would switch out, and I got to be home with our other children, those memories will never be what they could have been if both parents were present when they happened.

Children from large families have a built-in support system that not all children get to experience

It’s beautiful to rely on your siblings and immediate family for support and advice. I still go to my mom and older sister for advice or encouragement, and watching my children do the same warms my heart. It shows me that they trust each other and their parents to be there and give sound advice. Having your family be your support system is not only convenient but, for most families, the safest option. You are more likely to have similar views and ways of thinking with your family members than people outside of your family. I know this is not true for everyone, so please remember to do what works for you.

Having a large family provides ample opportunities for tolerance, compromise, and cooperation

Being from a large family and now having my own large family, I can attest to this. Having a lot of children gives you the built-in opportunity to teach these core values every day. Teaching our children tolerance for others, even if we don’t agree with their opinions, views, or mindset, has been easy to do throughout their childhood. We don’t always agree, but learning to compromise and cooperate with others is crucial for success. They might not always like the lesson, but knowing that I am setting them up to be successful young adults through teaching them these lessons brings me peace.

Love, connection, and affection

Never in short supply in our home. There is always someone to hug, chat with, snuggle up, and love on over here. And I wouldn’t have it any other way! Our kids know someone is always around to spend time with and ask for affection. We never go to bed without tucking each child in, talking about their day, and ensuring they’ve had a chance to share with us if something is on their mind. Not all families have open communication the way we do in our home, and I am forever grateful that our kids know they can come to us with anything without the fear of judgment, repercussion, or shaming.

Why We’ve Chosen a Large Family

Now that I’ve mentioned some of the dozens of reasons why having a large family is incredible and the blessings of choosing a large family, I want to talk about why we’ve personally chosen this for our family.

I mentioned earlier that I am from a family of 8, but I never mentioned that my husband is also from a larger family. He’s the youngest of 5 kids. From a young age, we both knew we wanted a more prominent family. We were unsure how many kids in total, but it was always part of our plan.

So why such a large family?

Legacy and tradition are only part of it. I want my kids to fondly look back on their childhood and know we did our very best to provide them with a legacy they can pass on and traditions they can inherit from their families. We have traditions passed down for generations that have shaped who I am as a person and a mom today that I am so proud of. I hope to pass those down to all my children throughout the years.

Having multiple siblings contributes to personal development

I would not be the person I am today had I not grown up in a large family. I would not be as patient, understanding, and caring as I am. That sounds conceited, but it’s true. Growing up with siblings forces you to be patient and put the needs of others before your own. I want my kids to learn these traits, too. Learning these traits as a child has helped me be more patient with my children and understanding about what they are going through.

I promise I’m not biased. Now that I’ve mentioned some benefits and the blessings of choosing a large family, it’s only fair to share the challenges and how we work to overcome them.

Managing a large family can be tough. There are moving parts that have to work together cohesively. Maneuvering can be stressful, overwhelming, and downright frustrating when they don’t. We work hard to ensure children get affection and attention and where they need to be on time! Communication is an absolute necessity with so much going on each day.

Parenting multiple children can be scary

Each child needs different parenting approaches, and that can be hard. Learning what they all respond to, how to parent them, and balancing their needs is intimidating, but we know that even through those challenges, it’s worth it to us. We work to be present with them, provide quality time, and look for opportunities to learn from them and what they need most.

Our children are motivated by different activities. We have learned over the years that what one child enjoys will not be the same for another. This is also true with correction and behaviors. I couldn’t look at my oldest son and tell him his consequence was no comic books. That wouldn’t matter to him. But my younger son would know he needed to correct his behavior if I told him he couldn’t have comic books before bed when he was having a difficult day. Learning what motivates each child has taken time, but has helped us know how to encourage them and what activities they enjoy the most.

Parenting roles and understanding the responsibilities of each family member

In our home, our roles as parents fall closely in line with societal norms. My husband works outside the home while I stay with our children, care for our home, and homeschool our kids. It’s what works for us. But to avoid resentment and frustration, we’ve worked hard to keep our communication open and work to show our appreciation for what the other adult is responsible for within our home and family. Having these conversations can be difficult at first, but it’s been an enormous blessing in the long run as we now both know what to expect of the other parent and work hard to show appreciation for each other.

This is true for our children, too. They all know they are responsible for chores in our home, and if they are not keeping up with those chores, we need to have a discussion and get back on track. Having these conversations has helped reduce bickering and frustrations now that each child knows their responsibilities in our home. We have created a cleaning schedule and use chore charts to help remind each child what they are responsible for.

The future of our family

As our children age, we wonder if we are done growing or if another little one will join us. We haven’t made any definitive decisions but are happy with how our family is now. We’ve worked hard to communicate well with our children and encourage them to come to us with anything. I love that our children know they can talk to us without fearing judgment or repercussions. Not all kids have that type of relationship with their parents. If you have children or are considering it, work to keep the communication open with them. I know it’s not always easy, but when kids feel like they can’t go to their parents with an issue, they’ll stop trying.

Conclusion

Having a large family is not for everyone, and I completely understand that. This has been the best decision we could’ve ever made for our family, and I’m grateful every day that we have had the opportunity to raise these incredible little humans. If you’re in the thick of it, it does get better, I promise! Keep pushing, focus on the positive aspects, and know that while having a large family has challenges, you’ll never regret the blessings of choosing a large family and what parenting can bring you.

I hope this post has encouraged you. Please remember to share it with a friend and pin it to your favorite board on Pinterest.

I am so glad you are here!

-M