Taking time for yourself is crucial, but as a mom, this can be tough. There are constant responsibilities around the house, someone needs to eat, someone else is thirsty, and why is the kitchen floor sticky 5 minutes after it’s been mopped? Taking time for yourself is possible, and you can learn to avoid mom guilt, too. In this post, I’ll give you helpful tips to do just that.
It isn’t selfish to take time for yourself, so why as parents do we feel guilty when we aren’t constantly busy or always caring for someone else? We need to care about our well-being as much as our children or spouse. I encourage you to start making yourself a priority and scheduling self-care every week just like you would an appointment. Before you know it, it’ll be second nature to do things for yourself.
Why Taking Time for Yourself is Crucial
As a mom of six, I know too well how easy it is to feel guilty taking time for myself when there is always someone who needs something from me. Even taking 10 minutes to shower and get dressed is difficult for me at times. The trick to avoiding mom guilt for me is remembering that when I have a chance to unwind and relax, I can be a better mom in the long run. I’m more patient, and attentive, and my ability to focus on what my kids and husband need from me is so much greater.
If I am constantly exhausted, running on empty, and just downright unhappy, that will show up in how I care for my family. I love being around my kids so much more when I’ve had a chance to process my own emotions. When I have taken time for myself, I can set a better example for my children as well. I don’t want my children to think it’s normal for parenthood to be so stressful. I want them to be excited about parenthood. To look back on their childhood and know that were loved and shown every day that caring for themselves physically and mentally is part of being an amazing parent.
Feeling Overwhelmed as a Mom
As a first-time mom, I was so stressed. I remember feeling scared and overwhelmed; especially when I realized that I was responsible for another human being. On top of that, I now felt guilt any time I wanted to take a breather. I wasn’t supposed to feel this way. I loved this little boy so much, but I had a hard time realizing that every aspect of my life had changed overnight. Motherhood is an absolute blessing. I heard that over and over again. So why was I struggling so much with finding my footing? And why is it so taboo any time anyone even whispers feeling burnt out?
We need to normalize self-care and taking time for ourselves as parents. It is possible to avoid mom guilt and it should no longer be a thought that crosses our minds. Taking time for ourselves should be as normal as caring for our home, making sure the kids are fed, or scheduling an appointment. Now, as a mom of six, avoiding mom guilt is even harder. It’s something I have to work on every single day. But I’ve realized that finding a balance in my life makes me a better mom. A more patient mom. And that makes it all worth it.
How to Take Time for Yourself So You Can Avoid Mom Guilt
So how do you take time for yourself so you can avoid mom guilt? You might understand how important it is now, but it’s time to implement this new routine. Here are some tips to help you schedule time for yourself throughout your busy life:
Ask for Help
Seems simple, right? If you’re anything like me, then no. It’s not simple. Sometimes I struggle with asking for help when I feel like I should be able to handle everything myself. That mindset is dangerous, though. Asking for help isn’t wrong. My husband is more than willing to help me when I need it, but I can’t expect him to be able to read my mind.
Know You Deserve it
You deserve time to yourself to recharge, clear your head, and relax. When you truly believe that you deserve time to yourself it makes it easier to do it! It’s not something that has to be earned, and it’s important to view it as such. You need it, and your family needs it for you, so take it!
Schedule it
Schedule it in advance. Even if it’s only 30 minutes to yourself for a bath, a walk, or walking through Target alone, put it on the calendar a few times a week and stick to that appointment. You are more likely to stick to it if you’ve scheduled and don’t allow it to become negotiable, because you are worth it.
Wake Up 15 Minutes Before Everyone Else
Taking time for yourself doesn’t always need to be hours on end. Sometimes you may only need 15 minutes just breathe and finish a cup of coffee in silence. Most of the time I prioritize sleep over most things. Especially because my kids almost always wake up the moment they hear even the slightest noise. If your kids are like mine, then maybe this tip isn’t the best option for you, but even lying in bed in a quiet house before the day starts can feel so good.
Take Some Time for Yourself After the Kids Are in Bed
If waking up before the rest of your family isn’t a good option, taking time after everyone is snuggled in may be a better option. I very rarely budge on bedtime with my kids. They know if they are under the age of 7, bedtime is no later than 7:30. Sleep is so important, and I feel like when they learn that early on, it makes things so much easier in life.
Once everyone is in bed, and the house is settled, I love catching up on reading, watching a movie, or just enjoying the quiet for a bit.
Create a Daily Routine with Your Time Included
I know it can feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done, and then trying to add in time for yourself feels impossible. Creating a daily routine to follow has helped us so much. It doesn’t need to be complicated at all. Just something manageable, so everyone knows what to expect each day. It helps me stay sane knowing what to expect next, and it breaks up the day a bit, too. Something else that helps is quiet time every day. The kids don’t have to sleep, but they know that quiet time is not negotiable. They are expected to play quietly, read a book, and lay down. This helps me have scheduled time every single day to unwind and have a little break.
Utilize the Gym Childcare
This tip doesn’t apply to me as I don’t have a gym membership, unfortunately, but many offer 2+ hours of childcare every day! That is amazing. You don’t even have to go work out. Get some work done, read a book, or take the longest shower ever. If you’re already paying a monthly fee for the gym, you might as well use it to your advantage when you need to take some time for yourself.
Get More Organized
This can feel overwhelming at first but let me tell you how helpful it is. Visual noise can be as overwhelming as actual noise. Things out of place, overflowing cabinets, and messy pantries; these can all become stressors in your life making it harder to take time for yourself without feeling like you are just becoming further behind on your to-do list.
As a mom, getting organized can mean a lot of different things. For example:
Organizing your home
Meal planning
Creating a cleaning schedule
Creating a daily routine
Having set chores for children
These can all help you organize your life, which in turn can help you avoid mom guilt when you need to take time for yourself.
If you need help creating a cleaning schedule or meal plan to help you make time for yourself, check out my Etsy shop. I have beautiful, easy-to-use charts available that will help you organize easily!
Swap Babysitting with Another Mom or Hire a Babysitter
For those on a tight budget, hiring a babysitter may be out of the question and I completely understand that. I’m lucky to live near my family and have a lot of siblings nearby who love my kids and are always willing to help. I feel very fortunate for that, but I know that isn’t everyone’s reality. Another option is swapping childcare with other moms. That way there’s no money to worry about, and you can still get time for yourself. As a homeschooling mom, there’s a bonus here for me as it also allows my kids to socialize with others which is super important.
The Benefits of Taking Time for Yourself
If you’re still not convinced that taking time for yourself is not only beneficial but a necessity for mental health, think about the benefits that come with having a little me time a few times a week:
You’ll be setting a good example for your children
You’ll have more patience for the stress in your life
Your relationship with your spouse will improve
You’ll feel more rested
You can be more with your family
I hope you’re able to see the benefits of taking time for yourself. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t feel guilty. You deserve to fill your cup.
Making Yourself a Priority
Taking care of others can be draining. Motherhood is a beautiful, selfless job, but caring for yourself is just as important. Don’t forget about yourself on the list of people who deserve attention! Here are a few tips to help make prioritizing yourself easier:
- Set boundaries with your family and friends. If they know you are trying to prioritize taking time for yourself so you can avoid mom guilt more easily, they can encourage you. As a people pleaser, I know how hard it can be to say no to helping others, but it has been so worth it for me to make sure I’m not taking on so much for others that I can’t do things for myself.
- Set a goal for yourself! This can be scheduling self-care once a week, reading a certain number of chapters in a book each week, or going for a walk for 20 minutes a few times a week. Here are more ideas on goal setting to help you prioritize yourself.
- Let your family know what your goals are. The more you talk about it and let others know that this is important to you, the more they can help support you!
- Let go of perfection. Motherhood can be hard! Your life does not need to be perfect; I promise. I know there is so much pressure on us to be perfect but release that expectation of yourself. Have you ever gone over to a friend’s house and turned your nose up because her house wasn’t immaculate? Probably not. You probably thought “Yep, she’s got kids.’, Or “She’s an amazing mom doing her absolute best”. Stop judging yourself so hard. You are incredible, and you deserve to recognize that!
Final Thoughts
You are doing a beautiful job being a mom. You give, you sacrifice, and you love endlessly. I hope that you realize that you deserve that endless love, too. Taking time for yourself is not selfish. Have I said that enough? You can avoid mom guilt and take time for yourself. It will make you a better mom in the long run.
I hope I’ve encouraged you to schedule time for yourself in your life. As always, if my post has been helpful to you, please share, comment, and pin my post to your favorite Pinterest board. Thank you so much for being here!
-M
This site may contain links to affiliate websites including Amazon. I may receive an affiliate commission for any purchases made by you through Amazon or other potential affiliates and no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.
