Ten Reasons Why Having a Large Family is the Best. (And 3 Reasons Why it’s Not).

My husband and I both grew up in larger families. I am one of nine children, and my husband is one of five. Having a large family is all we ever knew, so it was kind of inevitable that we ended up with a large family ourselves. We talk about when to stop having kids, but that’s a hard decision to make. We love our kids and love spending time together as a family, and since starting our homeschool journey a few years ago, we have been given the gift of more time with our kids. Sure, there are hard parts of having a large family, but we think it’s worth it.

In this post, we’ll talk about the benefits and some of the downfalls of having a large family. Let’s be real- it’s not for everyone. And that’s okay! Not everyone understands our desire to have a large family, but I want to highlight why we think it’s so amazing!

In this post we’ll cover:

• Ten reasons why having a large family is the best
• Why we feel having a large has been the biggest blessing in our lives
• Challenges large families face
• Overcoming the challenges that having a large family can cause
• Reasons why having a large family may not be for you

Having a large family is not for everyone, but it’s been the biggest blessing for us, and we are honored to have this wild group of children.

Here are the top ten reasons why having a large family is the best

Support

Having a large family offers a built-in support system that encourages emotional support and guidance. Having numerous family members to rely on can offer a tremendous source of comfort and resilience. Through our son’s cancer diagnosis, we have become closer than I ever could have imagined. It’s been a difficult season to walk together, but we have had to rely on each other and comfort each other through all the ups and downs of treatment, hospitalization, and bumps in the road, and I am grateful for that closeness that we share as a family.

Unconditional love and belonging

Being part of a large family, I know firsthand how much love there is to go around. One of the nice things about having a large family is that if you’re not getting along with one sibling, there’s a good chance you’ll find another sibling that you CAN get along with! I always had someone who saw my point of view or helped me feel like someone was on my side. The bonds formed within a large family are often characterized by support and unconditional love. It’s a beautiful thing.

Shared values and ideas

As I mentioned above, if I wasn’t getting along with one sibling, there was a good chance I could find another to spend time with or see my point of view. Large families often share core values and beliefs, providing a strong foundation for personal growth and character development. Our commitment to shared values helps bring us closer together as a family.

Diverse perspectives

On the flip side, having a large family can also help encourage diverse perspectives and encourages an environment where we can learn from each other and see other views on the situation. Different generations and personalities also play a role in broadening our view of the world. It’s pretty cool to see. I am really close with some of my siblings, and not so close with others. I have similar views as some and vastly different views from others. It’s interesting to see how our relationships have changed over the years. It’s one of the things that encouraged me to consider having my own large family.

Traditions

Large families often have many cherished traditions that are passed down through the generations, and my family is no exception to that! These traditions tend to provide a sense of shared connection over memories. It’s amazing to see.

We have a lot of traditions in our family that we’ve continued with our children, but one of my favorites has to be our Christmas Eve tradition. Every year on Christmas Eve, we got to open one gift before bed. It was always new pajamas and a book so that we had something to keep us in bed, and cute pajamas for photos in the morning. We’ve kept that going for our children, and while they know what to expect on Christmas Eve, it’s always fun to see their expressions when they open their gifts and get to see their new pajamas and what book we chose for each kid. I hope my kids continue this tradition with their own children when they start their families.

Always having someone there for you

Having a large family always ensured that there was someone around to spend time with. Whether it was my mom or one of my siblings, if I didn’t want to be alone, I didn’t have to be. Most of us were homeschooled which only encouraged further closeness. We had each other when our friends were busy. There was always someone around to talk to, ask for advice, or just spend time with. It’s one of the best parts of having a large family to me. And now that I am a mom, seeing my kids’ relationships with one another grow is incredible.

Division of responsibilities

Having a large family allows us to divide responsibilities and lighten the load for everyone. Growing up, my mom would make cleaning up a game. She would set a timer, divvy up the responsibilities, and see who could tidy up as quickly as possible. It made tidying up fun and encouraged us to keep going so we could ‘win’. (Even though there wasn’t ever a prize offered at the end!)

Celebrations are SO fun!

Having a large family ensures that celebrations and holidays are always a big deal. Just the amount of family members that show up is so much fun. We always make sure that special occasions are celebrated well and make memories together as often as we possibly can.

Strong family bonds

As much as I wish our son was never diagnosed with cancer, it has brought us closer together than I could have ever imagined. We cherish our time together and make sure that each child knows how much we love them and are so grateful to have them. Having a large family creates a bond that you can’t explain unless you’ve experienced it for yourself.

As a mom of 6 children, I am so grateful for the strong bond I have with my children. Not all kids get to experience that, and I will never take that for granted.

Your values are usually pretty different than the rest of the world

Having a large family shifts your perspectives on things. What is seen as valuable to most of the world is different when your focus shifts to your family. Spending quality time together, strengthening our family unit, and cutting out excess are areas we choose to focus our efforts, and that isn’t the ‘norm’ for a lot of people. That isn’t meant to ruffle feathers or offend anyone, but when you don’t go with the flow, you stick out a bit! We’ve learned to accept that over the years.

Why we feel having a large has been the biggest blessing in our lives

Being from larger families ourselves, we knew what a great experience it was growing up. We both had built-in friends, someone was always around to talk to, and we both are still really close to our siblings.

We both knew that’s exactly what we wanted for our own children when we started our family. Watching our kids grow up has been incredible. Every day we get to see them learn new things and mature into really cool young adults. Homeschooling has just added to that experience, and I’m so grateful every time I think about what an honor it is to get to parent these awesome kids.

Okay, now that we’ve mentioned how amazing having a large family is, let’s balance it out with some of the challenges. Because I promise you, they exist. I just choose not to focus on them!

Balancing quality time with each child

We work really hard to balance our time with each of our kids as much as we can. We take them out individually, spend time with them one on one, and make sure they feel heard by us often. It’s a challenge though. I don’t ever want them to feel like I spent more time with one of their siblings than them. We have open communication with them and try to make sure we are asking them about their day if anything is bothering them, and if there’s anything they need from us that they feel they aren’t getting. Having 6 kids makes it challenging, but we work hard to keep our time balanced.

Resources are stretched further

This one needs little explanation! Having a large family equals larger bills. More groceries, more clothes, more shoes, more electricity, more gifts! We work hard to stay within our budget, find side hustles, and do without where we can. It’s not easy, but we make it work. The sacrifice is worth it to me to have a large family.

Our house is so loud

If you’re someone who likes quiet, forget about having a large family. Just forget it. It’s all I’ve ever known, but wow our house is loud. Sometimes I’m afraid of what our neighbors think. In all seriousness though, having a large family ensures that there’s a lot of fun going on in our home. Even at bedtime when I’m ready to clock out for the night.

Overcoming the challenges that having a large family cause

It’s no secret that having a large family comes with difficulties. It is not always easy over here! I love being a mom and my kids are the biggest blessing, but some days are downright difficult.

Balancing quality time can be hard. We’ve become very good at dividing our time with our children over the years, though. Some of our kids feel cared for through a simple conversation with one of us, but we still like to try to keep it even as much as possible. We watch a movie together, bake something, or play a board game together while chatting about their day, and a lot of times, that’s enough to meet their needs. When it’s not, or when we notice they could use more attention, we make sure to schedule more time with each child and make it a priority, so they know we want to meet their needs.
After Luke’s diagnosis, we had to work really hard to keep the communication going and check in with our children. Seeing a sibling go through something so difficult can take a toll, and it’s been a struggle. There are still days that seem unbearably hard to work through, but we keep moving forward. Therapy has been so helpful with this part, too. We’ve had to learn to be patient with our kids and let them work through their emotions without getting frustrated on the hard days. Childhood cancer survivors and their siblings are 37% more likely to struggle with mental health disorders than other kids their age.

Making sacrifices to financially make having a large family work for us hasn’t always been easy, but we’ve created a food budget, paid off our debts, and cut out unnecessary expenses to help reduce our monthly bills as much as we can. It’s not always easy, but we make it work!

Conclusion:

Having a large family isn’t for everyone. It can be overwhelming, stressful, and expensive. There are serious challenges to consider, but they’re worth it to me. My kids always have someone around to play with, traditions to pass down, and unconditional love from their entire family. They have built-in friends, support, and help with their responsibilities. Before deciding, seriously consider the pros and cons. Just know that it’s the best decision I’ve ever made, and I thank God every day that I have been given the honor of mothering my kids.

I hope this post has encouraged you! I can’t thank you enough for reading my posts. Please remember to share with a friend and pin it to your favorite board on Pinterest.

I am so glad you’re here!

-M