Being a young mom was not originally part of my life plan. I always wanted a big family, but college, career, marriage, then a family was always the timeline I expected. So, when I became pregnant before even finishing high school, I knew my life was forever changed from then on. Telling my mom that I was going to be a mom was a really hard conversation. She was a young mom, too, and knew how challenging it can be. She wanted more for me, and I think that’s a normal reaction to have. You just want the best for your children, and she knew I was going to struggle. She never made me feel like I was a disappointment though. Through all of it, she looked at me and told me that obviously, this wasn’t what she wanted for me, but Jesus loved babies, and we would get through this.
It’s no secret that no matter what age you become a mother, you are going to face challenges. Sleepless nights, endless diaper duty, mental health struggles, financial strain. The list goes on. Motherhood is hard. But it’s also the most rewarding title I’ve ever carried. Being a young mom changed my life forever in the best way. If you’re in the thick of it and need a reminder, here are some of the amazing things that I’ve learned through being a young mom.
We Grew Up Together
Little Kaedyn and I during his first year.
I learned a lot during that first year with my son. I lost a lot of my friends when I had him, but the ones who stuck around showed me that while I made a very adult decision in becoming a mother, they were going to be there for me through all of it. My son is now 14 years old. He’s starting high school, thinking about jobs and his future career, and he is the kindest, most caring older brother his siblings could ask for. I can’t imagine him becoming a father just 2 years from now, but if we face that road, you better believe that I will be there for him every step of the way just like my mom was for me. We learned a lot about life together, and I’m so grateful for him.
I Became a Way Less Selfish Person
Have you met a selfish mom? Well, probably, but that’s beside the point. Being a young mom taught me just how selfless you have to be when caring for your children. Kids rely on us for everything. Protection, food, shelter, clothing, love. They get all of that from us. They are completely reliant on us for their survival. I couldn’t put my own needs before my son’s and expect everything to work out. I had to sacrifice parts of myself every day to ensure he had the best life possible, but it was well worth it to watch the incredible person he’s becoming.
Life Keeps Moving Forward
Being a young mom didn’t stop me from doing the things I loved. Sure, I had to plan more. I couldn’t just drop everything and do whatever I wanted the way I could before motherhood, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t still achieve the goals I had for myself.
After I had my son, I still went to college, worked full-time as a medical assistant, and found an incredible guy who is now my husband. Don’t let people tell you that having a kid is the end of the world. Life keeps going, and you can absolutely reach your goals!
My Life Was Not “Ruined” When I Became a Young Mom
Does anyone else remember those abstinence commercials? They started out with a group of teenagers playing sports, or hanging out at the beach, or going to an amusement park together, and then all of a sudden a narrator would say ‘Why would I ruin my life with a pregnancy?’. I have to try and find it, but I remember being pregnant with my oldest and seeing that commercial and feeling totally defeated. Being a young mom didn’t make me feel like my life was over. Yes, my life was on a different track, but I still very much loved and knew I was capable of having a happy, fulfilling life.
I Realized How Much my Mom Loved Me
There’s this crazy thing that happens when you become a parent. Obviously, we all know our parents love us, but until you’ve experienced that love for yourself, there’s little you can do to explain just how strong it is. Becoming a mom at such a young age showed me that while I make mistakes and that’s okay, nothing I do makes me unlovable in the eyes of my mom. It’s a beautiful realization that I hope everyone has the chance to experience in their life.
You Don’t Know as Much as Your Teenage Self Thinks
I hear a teenager being snarky with their parent and I internally roll my eyes. I remember that period in my life when I was trying to find my own place in the world and thought I knew best. It’s normal to pull away from your parents, but being a young mom changed that train of thought very quickly! I now had this little guy that was completely reliant on me for survival, and I couldn’t do this on my own.
I didn’t know it right away, but I was also struggling with postpartum depression, and it was my mom who helped me through that dark part of motherhood. None of my friends were mothers or even knew what to look for, but my mom had been through it before and helped me help myself. Around one in seven women develop symptoms of postpartum depression (NCBI), and the sooner symptoms are recognized, the sooner moms can get the help they need.
Difficulties of Being a Young Mom
I hope no one thinks I am encouraging young girls to become mothers because that is absolutely not the case. Motherhood is beautiful, but it’s also tough. It can be isolating, stressful, and downright scary.
As I mentioned earlier, I made an adult decision as a 16-year-old girl, and it came with consequences. I lost a lot of my friends, many of them because I was seen as a bad influence. I was used as an example of what not to do and was no longer accepted in my youth group. It was a hard reality check for me, but I made that decision.
Being a young mom forced me to grow up quickly. Instead of prom and high school graduation, I started working right away to help provide for my son. I went to school for medical assisting, started working for an Ob/GYN, and learned what was most important to me.
Conclusion
Being a young mom has taught me so much over the years. Motherhood is part of my identity, but I am so much more than just a mom. If you are in the thick of motherhood and struggling to find yourself, I hope this post reminds you to see the incredible parts of motherhood. you deserve to take time for yourself every day. Even if it’s just 10 minutes, you need it. Find something that makes you happy and do it! Your family will thank you. If you’ve found this post helpful, please share and pin it to your favorite board on Pinterest. It helps more than I can tell you. Thank you for being here!
-M
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