Finding Motivation When Motherhood Gets Overwhelming
Messy countertops, decorative pillows thrown around, something sticky on the floor. Does this sound like your home? As a mom of six, this is my daily life. It bothered me until I changed my attitude surrounding my role as a stay-at-home mom. Finding motivation when motherhood gets overwhelming can be difficult. What’s the point of cleaning if I’m just going to turn around and find it messy 10 minutes later? Why get dressed and try to feel good when sticky hands will grab my shirt as soon as I walk by?
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When things get tough, and you’re struggling to remember your purpose in motherhood, pull out this list again and make time for these things every day. It can be just a few minutes or hours, but prioritize yourself daily. I know that’s difficult when you have so many responsibilities in your home, but stepping away to do something for yourself is not selfish and can even help renew your motivation and focus.
Self-care and well-being
Repeat after me: self-care isn’t selfish. Say that to yourself as often as necessary to start believing it. Caring for yourself, stepping away, and doing things that make you happy are not selfish! They’re more likely to make you a better mom. Moms who care for themselves and do things that make them happy are more patient, kind, and content overall.
Here are some of my favorite self-care activities:
Grocery shopping alone
Browsing a bookstore
Going for a walk
Exercising
Doing my nails
Reading a book in a hot bubble bath
Baking
Don’t let anyone tell you that what you find enjoyable isn’t self-care. If grocery shopping alone sounds like paradise, that is self-care! Some days, I can’t finish a thought without interruption, so getting to grocery shop without anyone asking me a question is incredible for my mental health. Don’t let some random influencer on Instagram try to convince you that only bougie face masks, a spa day, or elaborate plans count as self-care. That’s just not true.
Goal setting and prioritization
Setting clear goals has helped me focus on what is most important for me to accomplish. Feeling split in so many directions can make me feel worse. Prioritizing what is most important for me to accomplish has helped me stay focused and check off more of my list than having no plan at all.
Whatever is most important to you, make that a priority! Habit stacking is incredible for helping you get more done as well. Are you trying to get more steps in but work from your computer a lot? Consider investing in a walking pad. I recently found one for under $100 on Amazon and am so glad I made the investment. I can stand at my countertop, work on my blog or school assignments with the kids, and get my steps in simultaneously! This frees up time for me to get dinner done so the evenings are smooth, sit and play a game with the kids, or make time to read without feeling guilty that I need to put my book down and stay busy.
Seeking support
Finding motivation when motherhood gets overwhelming often stems from feeling like you don’t have enough support. If this sounds like something you’re struggling with, there is nothing wrong with reaching out for support and expressing your feelings. My husband’s job is physically exhausting. I can express how I’m feeling and what I’m struggling with, and he does his best to be supportive, but he also can’t take more on at home when he’s already working so hard to provide for us. On his days off, he takes on more around the house so I can make time for self-care, step away if needed, and spend time together. It’s taken a lot of work, but we work hard to communicate our needs and ensure the other parent has a chance to do things outside of our responsibilities in our roles as parents.
If you and your spouse are not at a place where you can pass off responsibilities at home, don’t let this discourage you. Building a support network of other moms can help you build friendships and create a supportive group of other women who can swap childcare, provide support and guidance, and understand what you may be going through if you’re in a season of trying to find motivation when motherhood gets overwhelming.
Stress management
Feeling stressed is common with so many moving parts and responsibilities within motherhood. Don’t feel like you aren’t handling motherhood well just because you have moments of stress. Stress management is crucial for moments when you feel overwhelmed. Whether it’s going for a walk outside, dancing, sitting in the sun, praying, listening to worship music, journaling, etc, whatever it is that helps you relieve some stress, make it part of your routine! Find your favorites and work them in throughout your day.
Embrace the imperfection
It can be tempting to chase perfection. The perfect home, perfect marriage, perfectly behaved children. But let me tell you how unfulfilling and unrealistic that is. It’s okay to let go of that pressure and embrace the mess, chaos, and silliness of motherhood. Part of finding motivation when motherhood gets overwhelming includes letting go of unrealistic expectations and the pressures of trying to be perfect. Allowing yourself to enjoy motherhood and find joy is incredibly freeing. You deserve to free yourself from the pressures of being perfect.
Finding joy in everyday moments
What if you don’t hate motherhood, you just need more support? What if you just needed to stop letting other’s opinions distract you and focus on what an incredible honor it is to be trusted with such an important role? It’s okay to feel overwhelmed; that doesn’t mean you aren’t cut out for this position.
You need to center yourself again and focus on what matters most to you. Sit and listen to your kids when they play. Their sweet giggles as they invent a new game. Pray over their little feet as you match socks, the incredible things they’ll discover as you wash away handprints from the window. Remind yourself how finite the time you have with them is. It’s okay not to enjoy every moment of motherhood, but give yourself the chance to slow down and remember how beautiful this role can be. You were trusted in this role for a reason. Take pride in that. You are doing incredible things and should be proud of your life.
My favorite tips for making motherhood easier
The best thing I ever did was create a simple schedule to follow each day. It doesn’t include specific times or activities for every moment of the day, but there are tasks I complete each day, areas of our home I tidy up, and goals I focus on.
Here are the tasks I do every single day:
Start a load of laundry– As a large family, laundry is never-ending. More than almost anything else, I hate when laundry piles up. Forcing myself to do a load daily helps me avoid the enormous pile and ensures we all have something clean to wear daily!
Make my bed– I once heard that people who make their bed daily are more successful. I wish I could claim that’s why I make my bed every day. It’s not, though. Seeing unmade beds makes my eyes twitch, so I take a few minutes and make the bed to avoid a total meltdown. We even have a rule in our home- whoever is out of bed last has to make the bed. It’s helped my husband and I bicker less, and I feel so appreciative every time I look in our room and see that my husband has made the bed. My love language is acts of service, so it always feels like he’s trying to show his love for me, even when I remember the rule!
Clear countertops– Visual noise bothers me about as much as actual noise. Clearing the counters, putting dishes away, and wiping things down not only clears my mind but helps me feel like I’ve accomplished something significant.
Get ready– While it’s okay to have days snuggled up or putting off responsibilities for a little while, getting dressed for the day, doing my hair, and maybe putting a little makeup on helps me feel motivated and put together.
Move my body– Because I know it makes me feel great, moving my body most days is incredibly important to me. Whether walking, lifting weights, dancing, or even cleaning, I know it makes me feel good, so I’ve prioritized it.
If checklists motivate you to get things done, I have a free downloadable checklist available here!
Conclusion
Finding motivation when motherhood gets overwhelming can sometimes seem complicated. I hope today’s post has encouraged you and reminded you what an honor motherhood is. There is nothing wrong with seasons of overwhelm, but these tips will help you move through those times and focus on the gift you’ve been given in this role. If this post has helped you, please share it with a friend and remember to pin it to your favorite board on Pinterest.
Thank you so much for being here!
-M
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